How to Turn ‘I Can’t’ Into ‘I’m Trying’: Reframing Self-Doubt for Growth

Aug 1

3 min read

We’ve all been there. That moment when the words slip out: “I can’t.” Maybe it’s whispered quietly when you’re staring at a blank page, or maybe it’s shouted in frustration after trying (and trying again) to make a change. Either way, it stings. And it sticks.

But what if I told you that “I can’t” isn’t the end of the road?What if it’s just the starting point?

Today, we’re talking about how to shift from “I can’t” to “I’m trying” — and why that tiny shift can create a ripple effect of real, lasting growth.

The Weight of “I Can’t”

First things first: saying “I can’t” doesn’t make you weak, lazy, or broken.(Seriously, it doesn’t.)

Most of the time, “I can’t” is just a loudspeaker for something deeper — fear, doubt, perfectionism, or that oh-so-familiar inner critic that loves to pipe up when you’re reaching for something new. You know the voice I’m talking about. The one that says:

“You’ll mess this up.”
“Everyone else knows what they’re doing — why don’t you?”
“If you were good enough, this would be easy.”

It’s exhausting, right?And if you hear that long enough, “I can’t” starts to feel like the truth instead of just a thought.

Perfectionism and the “All or Nothing” Trap

Here’s the thing: perfectionism loves “I can’t.” It feeds off of it.

Perfectionism tells us that if we’re not doing something perfectly right away, we shouldn’t do it at all. And when perfectionism takes the wheel, guess what happens? Procrastination. Burnout. Avoidance. That cycle of guilt and shame where you beat

yourself up for not starting — or for starting and not being amazing at it immediately.

It’s not that you can’t do the thing. It’s that perfectionism has convinced you that trying isn’t enough.(But trying is everything.)

Reframing Self-Doubt: From “I Can’t” to “I’m Trying”

Here’s the magic move: instead of shutting yourself down with “I can’t,” open a door with “I’m trying.”

It sounds small. It sounds simple. But it’s powerful. Because “I’m trying” tells your brain — and your heart — a new story. A story where effort matters. Where progress is enough. Where perfection isn’t the point.

Imagine saying:

“I’m trying to set boundaries, even though it’s hard.”
“I’m trying to be kinder to myself when I make mistakes.”
“I’m trying to take small steps toward my goals, even if I feel scared.”

See how different that feels? There’s hope in it. There’s courage in it. There’s room to grow.

Why “I’m Trying” Matters for Your Growth

When you shift to “I’m trying,” you start building something called self-efficacy — basically, your belief that you can handle challenges and influence your life.

Self-efficacy doesn’t come from being perfect. It comes from taking action, making mistakes, learning, and moving forward anyway. It's a muscle you strengthen every time you show up, even when it’s messy.

So the next time your inner critic says, “I can’t,” take a breath. Pause. And answer back with, “I’m trying.”

Not because you have to be perfect. Not because you have to know all the answers. But because trying is enough. You are enough.

Ready to Start Reframing Your Inner Dialogue?

Listen, this kind of work — learning to challenge the inner critic, easing out of perfectionism, practicing compassion with yourself — it’s not always easy. (If it were, we’d all be doing it perfectly, right?)

But you don’t have to figure it out alone. At Angela Santana Counseling, I’m here to help you navigate these tough inner landscapes with gentleness and clarity. Together, we can turn “I can’t” into “I’m trying” — and “I’m trying” into “I’m growing.”

If you’re ready to take that first brave step, let’s talk. Book your first session here.